I fucking love poetry

Ok, 

So I'm coming to my last two weeks at Scripps and I'm getting a little stir crazy. The students are gone and gas prices are up. This means I have a lot of free time with no where to go. Which is good. Spending time with myself is fun. I've watched a lot of movies and read some books. Listened to music. Worked on my blog. Thought about how infinite and good we all are. Went to the ocean.

 By the way for those of you that read this and don't know, I'm moving to San Diego in a few days and I quit my job. I've been pondering the reality of love, passion, dreams, fate, heaven and hell on earth, God, communication, positivity, need and loneliness over the last 11 months. In the next few weeks my blog should be filled with information on roommates, looking for a job, feeding myself, dancing and surfing.  

Also the Johns' family reunion. 

Here are a few of the poetic moments that constantly remind me I'm alive. Enjoy!

Ask me a riddle and I'll reply

"Things are as they are"

The Tao of Pooh

"We said "Be" and it became."

The Qur 'an 

"So when the world knocks on your door 

clutch the knob and open on up

running forward into it's wide spread greeting arms with your hand before you 

finger tips trembling through they be." Anis Mojgan 

"Let's get together and make the whole world believers."

Jay Z

"You gotta touch the bottom before you can come back up"

Let it be Sung (Artist Unknown)

"Cause it's a hard road to hoe, 

If your ass don't move and the rain don't fall, and the ground is dry,

But the roots are strong so some survive to your surprise" 

Outkaste

Love's Got the Bill Tonight.

Uggh....I'm getting close to broke...so here is my message to all my friends. I'm unemployed and I live in California. I have no more money. From here on out my love is my gift to you. I'm like St. Francis Assisi, I'm giving it all up and handing out bucket loads of positive energy, happy thoughts, and kind words. I won't bring you down, I won't ask you to pay my bills and I won't complain as much as usual. I love you. I'll make you a card on your birthday, write you a story on mother's and day give you a hug when you get that big promotion. My excitement will be geniune when you over come some major obstacle in your life, move forward in your career or just have a great day. 

My love might not pay my rent but it will make the world a better place and really at the end of the day wouldn't you rather have someone listen to you complain about what a jerk your partner is, or how much your boss hates you then a gift you'll never use? 

"You gotta little mulatta in you?"

Me: Happy St. Patrick's Day...I'm Irish!! Yeah

Drunk White Dude at Bar: "Your Irish huh...You gotta little Mulatta in you?"

Me: "Umm, Yeah"

If you don't have a "little mulatta in you" one might be amazed the number of times a month I get asked this question.  Sometimes it's "what are you?" or "you got some black in you" or "what are you mixed with?" Generally I don't mind the question. It's an innocent question right, we are all asked to define ourselves so people can decide what they can say and what they can't, if you are dating material or friendship material, or if there is any common ground at all.  But I'm frequently asked the question for less innocent reasons.  People want to remind me of  my location in society, they want to sexualize me or they want me to act a certain way to make them feel more comfortable.  

Today I was asked about my ethnic make up but it was creepy.  I think the guy was hitting on me. He asked me if I was a person of African Descent and I told him "I am."  I said "Yes, my dad is black."  He asked where my dad's side of the family was from the Caribbean or the South?  I told him Cleveland.  He keep pressing the issue "but they're really from the south, right? 

No, I said, "my great-grandmother was from Cleveland, we've been in Cleveland for a while." He began to get on my nerves so I asked him where he was from, he told me his family was from the south. I asked him about his heritage, he told me he had some Native American and some Black ancestors.  He told me "you know what it's like in the south, everyone is part black or native american." I asked him about the rest of the family.  "Oh...were white." Really I said, "where is your white family from?" 

"Scotland, but I grew up in a small town of poor white people and black people and they all intermixed. 

Every time this dude in his early forties asked me another question, he moved in a little closer. I was so uncomfortable I ended up hiding my body under my purse.  Based on his body language and the way he phrased his questions, the message I received was simple, I'm white but as you know in the south white men like to get it on with black women and native american women. 

Me: Gross....Yeah I remember how that all went down....Lets not repeat that history again. 

As for the drunk dude in the bar the message was also clear. You aren't Irish your Black. Black people can't be Irish. That's funny I pretty sure my grandpa's family migrated here from Ireland but I guess when I my grandpa's daughter met my dad, fell in love, and had me, that erased her history completely. Huh...whatever. 

Despite the annoying and regular disbelief of my ethnic make up, I see it as a blessing.  I exist, I'm complete, and I'm not Mariah Carey (although I like her a lot these days). I come from some amazing survivors, leaders and intellectuals.  Some Black, some Irish, some bohemian, and all a part of me.